When Cupid's arrow strikes you online

Whether it is about being at the right place at the right time or being in the right group at the right time, love has a way of finding those yearning for it. Soni Kanake talks to three couples who connected with the love of their lives on online platforms.

Risper Njeru and Donicious Mochere

Risper is married to a man she met online. The couple are on their seventh year in marriage. They are parents to a five-year-old girl and twin boys who just turned two.

"We were members of a certain Facebook group back in 2012. The group was quite interactive and engaging, and I still remember a question that was asked regarding Nyakimincha Primary School, which coincidentally was where my hubby came from," explains Risper.

"I gave my view about it and the Gusii community in general. He then followed me into my inbox for further discussions," she laughs.

Risper, however, says that it did not feel any special at first, but the more they continued chatting regularly the more she felt that this guy had something unique.

"I wasn't looking for love at the time, though. I was just an innocent girl utilising her free time on Facebook," narrates Risper. "Our daily interactions awakened something in me," she confesses.

Risper says things were happening too fast and she does not remember the exact number of days or weeks when their love started blossoming.

But she remembers that a few weeks into their chats, she knew there was something special about him, which made her look forward to his next text.

"As we were getting to know each other, I had mentioned my town and he had requested we meet. But because we were just online buddies I didn't see it as necessary. Later, he told me that he had been transferred to work in the town I was in (I knew it was a lie, but by now I was yearning to see him)," she confesses.

Interestingly, she says that neither her Facebook account nor his had a profile picture, so the couple had no idea how the other person looked like. On the day they planned to meet, the couple recognised each other by how they were dressed as they had described their outfits on phone.

"I showed him around town and took him to his 'new work station'. Incidentally, he had been transferred to my town but would be reporting at a later date. He confessed that he had lied he already had the transfer because he thought that was the only way I would agree to meet him," explains Risper.

The couple later had lunch and it was time to say their goodbyes. "After our meeting, we just found ourselves exchanging love messages. We got married six months later," she says.

Risper says the world is now a global village and one can find love anywhere. "Actually, finding love in the oddest of places for me is the most thrilling feeling ever. To my fellow women, don't be afraid to explore unlikely places but keep your sixth sense on high alert and always be guided by your instincts," she cautions.

"Dating online is fun and scary at the same time. I would advise one to look out on how the one you are dating reacts to posts and comments and how he treats other members of the group.

"Also, look out for his opinion on different issues raised on different online platforms. In most cases what they post is a true reflection of what they are. Always take your time (no time frame), and when you realise the other person is genuine, let love flow," advises Risper.

Alice Irungu Booth and Richard John Booth

Alice, 45, and Richard, 53, got married on April 4 this year in Lawrence, Kansas, United States, where they reside. The two met on a dating site.

The Kenyan born lady had been widowed for close to a decade by the time she found love again. "I lost my husband back in 2007. I had seasons when I would get very lonely. These seasons sometimes would push me online," confesses Alice.

"I did hope to find love and get married, but with time I gave up hope of ever finding love, especially online as I came across too many jokers. But with time I learnt to smell them from a mile [away]. A few minutes of chatting, and more often than not, their intentions would be clear," she explains.

"At one point during my 'lonely season' I had signed up on a site called eHarmony. I realised that this was actually a serious site with serious guys.

"They did a lot of vetting and ‘bad’ guys (scammers) were always being thrown out. The only catch was that if I was going to make any progress I needed to be a paid subscriber.

"I bit the bullet and paid about $25 (Sh2,500) for an offer of three months’ subscription. This was back in 2015 or 16. In the three months I was subscribed, I quickly realised that this was largely a North American site, and most people in there were not really interested in long distance relationships. I moved on and didn’t subscribe again," she explains.

In 2017, Alice travelled to the US to visit family and friends. "Since I was here already, I decided to revisit the American site and see what would happen. I would check in once in a while and would talk to a few guys here and there, but there wasn’t much happening really," she narrates.

"About three weeks before I came back home to Kenya, I connected with this guy. His profile was interesting but two things caught my eyes: he spoke about his faith in Jesus and also mentioned that he had no kids but would be happy to raise his partner's or the ones God would give him in future. These two things spoke directly to my heart," says Alice, a mother of three.

"I had prayed that if I was to remarry that the man should love my children like his own. This prayer has really come true," she muses.

The two started talking every day. "It was time to take it off the dating website, and since I did not have a local line in the US, I asked whether he had WhatsApp. I did not expect him to because most of the people I met there had never heard of it. Turns out he did (probably because he is British).

"We talked on video every day. We were in the same State (the dating site allowed you to be connected to people near you). After a week he drove about two hours to come to the city I was in and we had dinner and just talked for hours. I really enjoyed talking with him," she says.

"We didn’t have a chance for another date since I was leaving Kansas for Virginia that same week before travelling back home. We just continued talking on WhatsApp, but he came to the airport to see me off to Virginia. And that’s how it began," says Alice.

"I came back home and we continued talking every single day. He came to visit me in Kenya in December 2017. By then we had already agreed to date officially. He met my family during this time. In April 2018 I came back to the States to visit him. I met a number of his friends. We got engaged during this time," she explains.

Kelvin Kabugi and Florence Kabugi

Kelvin, a businessman in his early 30s, is forever grateful to his friend who added him to an interdenominational international Bible Study WhatsApp group in 2016.

The group that had people from various countries was quite interactive and discussed different topics about Christian living daily.

"There was this girl in the group who was very active, and since I was equally active I decided to reach out to her a month after I joined and we started chatting," explains Kelvin about Florence, who is now his wife.

"We would chat for long hours about life, and we soon became good friends. She had told me she lived in Qatar, but it hadn't bothered me much as we were just friends, he says.

Towards the end of 2016, Florence was scheduled to visit Kenya, and Kelvin was excited at the prospect of meeting his new friend. "I lived in Thika and she came from Juja, which are not too far apart. Our first meeting was casual as we were meeting as friends," says Kelvin.

"We continued meeting, and as she was planning on returning to Qatar we realised we were more than just friends as we were very close," he admits.

The couple started dating officially before Florence left the country. "Although I really liked Flo, I suggested that we be in an open relationship as I wasn't sure how long she would be gone, and I felt I needed love," he says.

"My girl did not buy the idea and came back to Kenya three months later when we decided to take our relationship a notch higher. After dating for a year and eight months, we decided to get married as we were really fond of each other.

"In March 2018, I proposed and paid dowry. On November 17, 2018 we got married," says Kelvin, who laughs at not remembering what happened to the WhatsApp group after he met the love of his life; though he admits that their faith was very instrumental in making their paths to cross.

"I guess after we met we just focused on each other," he laughs as he wishes his wife, who turned 28 on Thursday, a happy birthday. Saturday Magazine wishes her a belated happy birthday.