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Why do we worship wedding cakes?

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By PRISCILLA KIMANI

I attended a beautiful wedding a few weeks ago and I was appalled by a small act, which set my mind wandering.

It also made me quite inquisitive and since then a question lingers in my mind: “What’s this fuss about wedding cakes?”

The wedding ceremony was colourful and joyful, with the groom and guests smartly dressed in the theme colour. Everything else in the church, including the exchange of vows, went down as expected.

Everyone I observed at the wedding stole glances at the special tent where the wedding cake was placed and marvelled at the beautifully crafted pots and calabashes. At first, it was difficult to depict that they were cakes and not wood carvings and pots. The theme of tradition was clearly expressed in the arrangement.

I think wedding cakes are like worshipped gods and only fall second place behind brides in weddings. The cakes were well-covered with a white cloth glittering with decorations.

I could tell the wedding guests were anticipating getting a piece of the worshipped god. That alone further cultivated my inquisitiveness and I asked myself: “What if the wedding cakes were shared out before the wedding ceremony commenced or slightly before the couple exchanged their vows, how many people would be present until the end of the ceremony? How many would have been present to witness the wedding anyway?”

The cake matron came along and she doubled the anticipation for cake by giving a speech on the recipe and the significance of the ingredients used. I laughed when she told us that the eggs used in the cake symbolise a couple’s smooth life in marriage. From the science I learnt in primary school, I know that eggs are a source of protein…

Hitches and disagreements are normal in marriages. And if eggs represent a couple’s smooth marriage, how many trays of eggs would a couple eat to completely quell marital disagreements? What about people who are allergic to eggs? Is it guaranteed that their marriages will be purely hectic due to the absence of eggs in their cakes?

Anyway, the cake was cut into fine pieces and shared among the guests—it appeared to be the most awaited moment. A group of boys who had waited impatiently for that defining moment were infuriated that the cake was almost depleted and they hadn’t gotten a share. So they planned a ‘cake attack’. These boys must have been addicts of violent movie as their attack moves were well calculated.

Shortly after I got a piece of cake, the ‘cake gang’ declared war and made away with the tray of cake. I munched on my piece and headed for home. Many guests who did not get a piece of cake looked devastated. I couldn’t fathom why they were disappointed. It was just a piece of cake!

Harusi si harusi bila keki (A wedding is incomplete without cake),” I heard someone mutter as we left the premises.

What’s this fuss about wedding cakes, anyway?

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