PLAIN TRUTH: Stop tempting your man to cheat

This past week, I have been binge watching Temptation Island, an American reality television show. Couples in long-term relationships are separated from their partners for three weeks and taken to an exotic island with a bunch of attractive singles handpicked for each of them. The goal, as the name of the show suggests, is to put their relationships to the ultimate test. I can’t understand why anyone would think that coming on such a show is a good idea. What is more puzzling is seeing men and women crying when shown clips of their significant others giving into temptation on the island.

This reminds me of a woman I know, who a few months ago, just for the fun of it, decided to ‘test’ the man she had been in a relationship with for a couple of years. Up until this point, he had been a sufficient partner giving her no reason whatsoever to have doubts. Still, she went ahead to create a fake Facebook profile through which she came onto him. When he finally agreed to go on a date with this ‘other woman’, she was crushed, crying that her man was unfaithful.

What did she think was going to happen? You can say that I have little faith but the truth is that the way to a functioning, progressive and monogamous relationship is not through an island riddled with half naked, gorgeous men and women. If you are with someone who you think could be your happy ever after, then quit testing him.

If you want monogamy then do not make your relationship an open one, and if you do, then do not be surprised when your partner develops feelings for another person you allowed them to date on the side.

Doing this, throwing other women at your man to test your relationship, is like going to your employer at work and gushing about how another person would be better suited for your job.

If you ask the people who lead their significant others into all sorts of temptations, they will tell you that they want to be sure that their partner is the right choice. Truth is, when it comes to love and romance, you can’t be sure. I recently interviewed a woman who has gone through divorce and she told me that marriage should be a short term contract to be reviewed every few years to make sure that you are still on the same page or even different pages but reading the same book. People grow and change even in ways that we don’t want them to.

You can only speak for your heart, not your partner’s. What you can do is trust that you made the right judgement, sit back and enjoy the ride.

You know your partner well. You know what will excite him, what might lead him astray. You can’t then build the perfect temptation for him and then label him a bad man when he gives in. All these hoops you are setting for him to jump through are destructive and immature. Just tell him expressly at the beginning of the relationship what you expect from him.

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