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PLAIN TRUTH: Take control of your life this year



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It’s that time of the year again when we are starting over in different facets of our lives. Many are signing up at the gym to lose the thunder thighs. Some are giving up the bottle. Others still are getting back in touch with their religious side.

The New Year is a chance for a fresh start. You can finally leave what isn’t working behind and pursue what is.

I received a text message the other day from a 22-year-old woman. She was seeking relationship advice. She has been in a romantic relationship with a cheating man. She has caught him many times and he doesn’t even try to lie about it. Or to apologise. For some reason, she is still clinging to him.

Lately though, she is no longer happy with him. She wanted me to tell her what to do. I told her to forget about him. If she texts me again, I will tell her that she is too young to be entangled in relationship drama. There will be plenty of time for that later.

This – knowing the answers to your life’s questions but still trying to get them from a third party – is something that women are good at.

You know your relationship, you know your man, you know your job and you know how you feel about these situations in your life but still, before making a leap, you will seek validation.

No matter how clear the writing on the wall is, you will still want your friend, sister, neighbour and sometimes even that complete stranger to read it for you.

You forget that those outside looking in do not see your life like you do. You forget that misery loves company and that person you are asking what you should do might just subconsciously give advice that will have you as miserable as they are.

I remember being petrified several months ago when a woman who read my book reached out to tell me that she’d quit her job because of something I wrote.

I remember that worrying sense of responsibility for whatever happened to her next. After that quelled down, I felt admiration for her for being able to make that decision.

I know many women who hate their jobs, who will complain to you about their jobs before they have said their greetings. Still, they strap on their painful stilettos in the morning and head to the office because they are afraid to leave their comfort zones. They will then complain about their jobs all day, go home in the evening and repeat the cycle the next day.

Quit complaining and make some decisions this year. Your decisions don’t have to make sense to anybody else. And when you do make them, you do not owe anyone an explanation unless your actions directly affect them. After all, only you know where the shoe pinches.