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So, Sir Charles Njonjo, the Duke of Kabeteshire turned 99, here is what you need to know




CHARLES MUGANE NJONJO, the Duke of Kabeteshire, is marking his 99th birthday today. A milestone because a significant percentage of Kenyans and other citizens of developing countries don’t live beyond age 60. In fact at 40, I am the oldest person around my village and my name is always mentioned whenever one needs to give an example of an old man

For those who know nothing apart from betting, Njonjo was Kenya’s first and last Attorney General. This man’s closet is full of skeletons, but since Russian playwright Nikolai Gogol concluded that we all have little failings, I will not delve deep into his shortcoming which are well documented in the opinions Kenya have of him

Perhaps what irks everyone is his pretentious zeal of being a white man when his only genuine white thing is the white beards on his face, now creased and by effects of old age. Having rode to school on a horse, courtesy of his collaborator father, in the colonial days, he thought he would extend the segregation in the independent Kenya by being the new “mkoloni” a feat he registered remarkable success in

The parable of the lost mug captures his character more than any other. In Njenga Karume’s memoir, he narrates how he one time hosted a party in his rural home and since Njonjo was one of the dignitaries invited, he went ahead and imported his brand of beer. This must’ve been a big sacrifice for Karume the miser, the man we are told at one time, refused to eat “mutura” worth 30bob until it was reduced to that of 20 bob because that is what he had ordered for. Remember he was a billionaire

In his characteristic flambouyamce, Njonjo came with his beer mug as he couldn’t use ordinary cutlery every Tom Dick and Harry are served in. When the party ended and he went back to the city, he noticed that his beer mug was missing. Being an AG with absolute power, he called the PC David Musila (currently a Jubilee top sycophant), and gave instructions that the operations to recover the mug should commence before immediately

The PC in turn called the DC who in turn called the DO who mobilised the chiefs and soon the entire village was looking for Njonjo’s lost mug, under the supervision of the PC. Luckily the mug was found and driven in the PCs Land Rover to his office, making it the most sought mug in the history of Kenya

That is one of the reasons I refer to him as the country’s first and last attorney in chief. The others are acrobats

Take an example of the mortician, the immediate former occupant of the state law office. During the Hague proceedings, he acted president Kenyatta’s attorney, while ignoring that the cases had the interest of the state (not the regime) to be protected

Mugane Njonjo is the man who erected an unassailable roadblock in the way of GEMA, on their mission to change the constitution to prevent Moi from ascending to power should old Jomo kick the basket

By then, good old Jomo looked like he could kick the bucket any time, and it wasn’t far fetched for GEMA or anyone to plan his succession

Uhuru’s succession has been likened to that of Moi, and this brings to focus, Njonjo’s role. Of course “muthamaki” will not commit the same mistake twice, of freezing in a political Sibera for 24 years

Unless Uhuru dies, that history will not be allowed to repeat itself by the oligarchs who carry the nation’s title seed

Happy birthday centenarian Duke of Kabeteshire!!

Great day my fellow hoof eaters


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