JUST BRENDA: My friends want me to get a 'sponsor'

Hi Brenda,

I’m 21 years old and I have some problems that need your attention. It’s about my relationship and friends. My boyfriend thinks I’m from a rich family because I never ask him for money. When we started dating, I would buy him gifts but these days, I am broke because of the pandemic and fully depend on my family for survival. My friends keep pushing me to look for other means to get money-like sleeping with older men. I was not brought up like that and it would disappoint my family who have shown me nothing but love and support. I’m especially keen on not letting down my mum who is battling cancer and other ailments. I don’t know what to do. Should I follow my friends’ advice? I believe in working hard for my money, just that I can’t go out and hustle during the pandemic.

Hello,

I think it is time for you to be honest about how you feel, to both your friends and your boyfriend. If he loves you and you love him, then he will understand that gifts of love can't keep coming in a pandemic.

If he doesn't understand that, then he lacks empathy and you shouldn't be with him in the first place.

The same goes for financial considerations for other relationships.

As for your friends, they should be the last of your worries. Dealing with cancer in the family is hard enough as is, without trying to figure out how to lie to your family - about where you are going, what you are doing and where you are getting the money - you know that with a sudden change of lifestyle that they are not providing, they will ask you what is going on.

If you can't think of how you will answer to them, don't do it. You sound stressed already.

There are other ways to make money, and you don't have to do something you're uncomfortable with in this way. Now that the country is opening up, and your family is providing for you, wait out this difficult period in your life. Talk to your man and your friends, honestly and clearly. It'll get better.