Former Safaricom CEO Michael Joseph once famously explained congestion problems suffered by the telecommunications giant on Fridays to “peculiar calling habits” of Kenyans.
We are indeed peculiar. Everybody in the country seems to be an expert on how to handle the Covid-19 pandemic, contradicting every measure employed by the Ministry of Health without giving an iota of scientific evidence to back their views.
Kenyans are quick to roundly condemn police brutality in neighbouring Uganda and faraway USA, yet, when the same violence is being meted out by the men in uniform right here at home, we make less and decidedly divided noise.
Kenyans know exactly what to do to fix our wanting politics but will quickly slither to their tribal biases come election day.
I could go on and on like an Energizer battery. Many Kenyans loudly boast they are avid football fans, but you will never see them in our stadiums. They will be busy watching foreign leagues, particularly the English Premiership, on television, in pubs and other public places.
When you ask them why they do not go to stadiums to watch the local league, they retort: “our standards are low and not worth watching”. But they cannot explain the high attendance in the lower divisions of English football where the standards would be anything but world-class.
WELL-INFORMED
Football fans in Kenya are well-informed of their favourite English Premier League club to the minute details of player statistics, WAGs’ indiscretions and team plans. Some will even name for you team doctors, groundsmen and chefs involved in the EPL.
“We beat you guys last night?” “Did you see how we outplayed you yesterday?”
“This league is ours to lose. You people cannot match us.” “We need to change our coach. He has let us down, man.” Such will be the routine morning greeting preamble for the Kenyan football fan desperate to cling to some form of ownership of an English club they are aligned to. Let us not even get to their social media postings.
Several of our FM radio stations have not been left out, broadcasting the matches “live” from their tiny studios here in Kenya.
These madness is expected to resume next week today as the 2019/2020 Premiership League season restarts after three months of suspension due to the ongoing Covid-19 pandemic.
I am an avid rugby fan but even with my superior sporting inclinations, I will grudgingly accept that the EPL is indeed the most popular league in the world by TV coverage and global fan distribution.
And it is not just because of smart marketing. The drama of this season illustrates the appeal of the competition.
As it starts again - sadly without fans in the stadiums because of medical protocols put in place to fight the virus - the palpable expectation, taut tension and multiple battles for glory also resume in earnest as only a diehard league fan would know.
LIVERPOOL CHAMPS!
Liverpool are on the brink of winning their first EPL title in 30 years. Thirty years!
What a story this would be. There are many rival fans who were hoping the season would be cancelled altogether. Too bad for them.
The sizzling hot Reds are just two wins away from glory and can be crowned champions in their first victory after the league’s resumption if second placed Manchester City lose to Arsenal at the Etihad next Thursday. Liverpool are also in line to rewrite history. They need 19 more points from a possible 27 to beat Manchester City's impressive total of 100 points gathered in one season (2017-18). Klopp’s men could also better City's record title-winning margin of 19 points from the 2017-18 campaign.
Then we have the battle for the Uefa Champions League slots. Remember Manchester City have been banned from competing in Europe’s top club competition for two season for breaking financial fair play rules. Their appeal is yet to be decided, but that leaves Leicester, Chelsea, Manchester United, Wolves, Sheffield United, Tottenham Hotspur and Arsenal all in the mix for the remaining four berths available. The race cannot get any better than this.
Goal poachers Harry Kane of Spurs, Marcus Rashford of Manchester United and his teammate midfielder Paul Pogba are expected to return from injury. But my money on the Golden Boot winner is Leicester striker Jamie Vardy who leads with 19 goals, closely followed but Arsenal's Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang (17), Liverpool's Mohamed Salah (16), Sergio Aguero of Manchester City (16) and Southampton's Danny Ings (15).
You bet, betting will resume normal business full throttle.
Yeah, heavy banter about the league, sometimes witty, sometimes worthless, is back.
And here is an unapologetic rugby fan eagerly awaiting the return of this football league competition. How peculiar.
