PLAIN TRUTH: You like the guy? Ask him out

Before you begin throwing stones, let me say here that I am aware that getting married or being in a relationship isn’t the ultimate challenge. Also, no, I have not participated in any of those annoying debates about which women are happier based on their relationship status.

This piece is for those women who are looking to be in a relationship. Those women, splattered all around the city, complaining every day about lousy dates they went on with lousy men. Dates that they agreed to go on even after getting glimpses of this man’s lousiness. Ladies, you need to stop.

Ever wondered why men around you, even those you wouldn’t consider too good looking or well-adjusted, always seem to have a range of choice of women to date? It’s because they step up and ask out the women they want to go on dates with.

Not you, though. What do you do when you come face to face with the man of your dreams? That artsy, bronze faced tall glass of water? A woman will retreat and begin making excuses about why you can’t walk up to him and strike a conversation.

You will be thinking about your hair, about the perfect dress hanging in your wardrobe which you didn’t wear, even about his imaginary girlfriend or wife.

You make up excuses in your head and instead give your number to that man you do not like but who has been pestering you. You accept to go on a date with him, complain about it then repeat the cycle.

Get off your phone. Break off from the pack sometimes. Walk up to a man you like and introduce yourself.

True, he could be married or you may even not be his type but the worst thing that can happen is that he will say no. So you will move on.

Men are rejected all the time, I’m sure you have rejected your fair share of them.

If you think that just appearing being well put together is enough to have the man you like white on rice, you have no right to complain that you are going on dates with men you do not like.

The relationship you want will be a closer possibility for you if you can take a chance at rejection. A closed mouth does not get fed.

When you finally decide to suck it up and ask him out, be direct about it. Those mind games are so last year. I mean, the woman has progressed in so many wonderful ways.

We are now able to demand equal pay; you can stand up toe to toe to gender-based violence but you will not ask out a man you like because you are afraid that he will think you are desperate. Isn’t this a lame excuse?

Dating is about you too. It isn’t just a process for men to see if you are a good fit for them. So the next time you see a man you like, ask him out.

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