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The cost of infidelity and why men should think hard about it



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Some time back, I was approached by a married man with an interesting proposition. He told me he was looking for a girlfriend and I was his type. He was upfront about his marital status and his intentions.

He told me he could take a three-hour afternoon siesta, two or three times a week, during which he could see me for some good time to while away a boring afternoon.

This wouldn’t be a story worth telling if he had stopped at that, but he had a lot more to say!

Before I could even get a word in, he went on to tell me that he knows how this type of relationships work and he was prepared to take good care of me.

I knew I wasn’t going to take him up on his offer but I was curious to hear what his terms were so I asked him what was going to be in it for me. He told me that he was ready to put me up in a luxury apartment (near his office of course).

He assured me that he would take care of all the expenses like rent and utilities and in addition to this, he would give me a ‘small’ stipend of Sh50,000 a month!

I should mention that at that time I was a struggling college student working odd jobs to make extra cash and still wasn’t pulling in even half of that amount in a month. He wasn’t done just yet.

He said that he regularly travelled out of Nairobi and even out of the country and if I became his girlfriend, I would be accompanying him on these trips.

He even told me he had an upcoming trip to Diani that weekend and if I was interested, we could use that time to get acquainted. All these in exchange for my companionship and discretion.

Unfortunately, I was dating at the time and was very much in love with my college boyfriend so I did not take the offer.

I am saying ‘unfortunately’ because if it wasn’t for the fact that I was seeing someone, I would have jumped on it, morals be damned!

You know how hard it is to get by in this country! All I had to do was entertain this older, married guy two times a week and then swim in the money! Anyway, like I said, I turned him down (albeit reluctantly) and we went our separate ways.

That little interaction made me ponder on the finances of philandering especially in this ‘slay queen’ age. It is no wonder that it is only the moneyed folks who can successfully pull of an affair.

The costs of keeping a mistress are staggering! First, he has to put in money for the meeting place. Seedy motels rooms only work with sex workers. It is not going to cut it for a ‘regular girl’. (I’ve put this in quotes because some might argue that mistresses are nothing but glorified sex workers).

You either cough up the money for a good hotel or you pay for an apartment for her in a decent neighbourhood.

Then there is a monthly allowance, gifts, restaurant and bar expenses and the occasional vacations. Is it all worth it, gentlemen? Wouldn’t rather stay faithful to your spouses? I definitely would if I was a man!

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