What sets The Met apart from other carpet events

I can tell that you have questions about The Met, so before I break 2019 down, I will answer some of the most pressing ones you do not even know you have.

Yes, it is a nerve-racking anxiety-inducing event for the beautiful people.

No, some people cannot pee. Sometimes, if they are lucky, they will, in fact, be unable to sit because they chose to be outré. No, you cannot prep yourself solo. It takes a constellation to make a star.

Yes, it was a pink carpet instead of red because Anna can.

No, the event is not really about the celebrities, though it seems like it. It is, in fact, about fashion houses and the contribution their genius designers have made to the world. Celebrities are merely conduits for the magic.

Yes, there is an arrival schedule. Every guest has a timed slot to schmooze the world´s photographers. To make this happen, invitees are provided with transportation, allowing them to ferry their Squad.

Yes, photographers shout across the threshold — look over your right shoulder! Go up the stairs! Look here! Beautiful! Come down the stairs! Move your left arm! Eyes left! Look this way!

Yes, someone taps a less significant plus one to move away from the frame of an A-lister even if it is the love of their life.

Yes, celebrities are well-trained on the art of pose.

No, you do not want to be late and miss your slot.

Yes, you are either in or out. You cannot buy your way into The Met. You earn it.

Yes, the Kardashian-Jenner clan have earned it. Except for Khloe and Kourtney who Anna banned for being C-list. Yes. Ouch.

No, not all guests are equal. Hosts are picked each year. Certain pop culture/relevant guests get the Vogue digital treatment in their “How I Got Ready” video.

Yes, our Lupita totally and absolutely nailed it. Power to the fro!

Yes. This year's theme was difficult to understand. The past year has been spent explaining it.

This is where my story begins. The vision of the A-lister springs from the mind of a fashion designer.

The brilliant ones put together shoes, accessories, hair, make up, nails, clutch, it is all meant to highlight the brilliance of the designer.

The Met Gala, after all, takes place at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, the largest museum in the America, to raise funds for the spectacular Costume Institute.

By now we know tickets cannot be bought for this invite-only gala. And that Anna said there is nothing in the world the president of the free world could ever do to earn himself an invite. The largest fashion runway on the planet is an annual event held in May since 1946.

“Camp: Notes in Fashion” has to be my favourite Met theme to date. Camp is Gucci, Versace, Thom Browne. Camp is Janelle Monae. Camp is Gaga: her entire existence and performances, Brandon Maxwell. Camp is David Bowie and Grace Jones.

Camp is 2018-2019 Celine Dion. Camp is Jeremy Scott and Katy Perry. Camp is anyone who needed assistance going up the stairs.

Camp is any outfit that took six months to infuse with tech. Camp is the late Isabella Blow. Camp is Billy Porter.

Camp is POSE, the campiest TV series on the planet starring Billy Porter, the foundation and expression of camp, and the reason you need to find it, and watch it.

Camp conquers, celebrates and confuses. Camp is individual; theatrical; exaggerated; queer.

Camp is like The Fight Club. You don't talk about it. Camp is anyone who does not take themselves too seriously. Camp is what I say it is, what you say it is, what we see it is. Camp is the mainstream perception of fashion people.

Camp is Cardi B and her six escorts following her around all night, ferrying her dress with everyone pretending they are invisible.

Camp is KKW landing the May 2019 Vogue cover because, take that you snooty lot.

Camp is six hot half-naked men carrying a man whose golden look is inspired by the Egyptian Sun God.

Camp is a severed head getting passed around over dinner. Camp is the opposite of Trevor Noah, even though I just said it is individual.

Trevor, yes, a hamburger is better than a T-shirt in this case. Camp is extra.

If you still struggle to get it, and cannot possibly understand how camp afflicts your life, contemplate the most delightfully extravagant and inimitable, aka campy Oscar Wilde: “One should either be a work of art, or wear a work of art”.