Opinion | If Keanu Reeves’s Date Can Embrace Looking Her Age, I Can Too

I’m not afraid of getting older. I’m afraid of looking older. And to deny that, as embarrassing as it is, would be counterproductive to the many other women my age who feel the same way.

I know the root of my attitude is part vanity and part internalized misogyny, but it also comes from the way the world tends to view and treat middle-aged women — as past their prime, as desperate cougars trying too hard, or worse, as invisible.

But attitudes are changing, and I hope I can change along with them. Last year, I watched Jamie Lee Curtis thrill me to my core in “Halloween” and then take to Twitter to celebrate that the movie had the biggest box office opening with a leading actress over the age of 55. I’ve witnessed a Kathryn Hahn career renaissance deserving of just about every award. I watched Jennifer Lopez, 50, defy gravity and make the fur coat A Thing again while playing a stripper in “Hustlers.” And just this Sunday, I saw Jean Smart, 68, electrify every scene she was in as the Silk Spectre in HBO’s “Watchmen,” where she wields an absurdly large blue dildo and has sex with a much younger man.

Middle-aged and older women, long portrayed as sexless and relegated to wise, maternal roles, are slowly but surely beginning to gain some pop culture representation that reflects the dynamic, complex and sexy figures that they are.

And that’s why this possible romance between Mr. Reeves and Ms. Grant feels meaningful. It matters to see a woman who possesses physical attributes that dermatologists, hair colorists and targeted ads on Instagram have long told me to change, cover up or prevent before they get worse. It would be nice to live without that burden, but for now it’s almost as nice to watch others do so.

For a time-tested public figure like Mr. Reeves to proudly stand there, beaming, with a woman who appears not to be in a battle against time sends a message to the rest of us that perhaps we can put down the snail mucin salves and jade rollers ourselves. It says you can be both desirable and look exactly your age. That’s the representation I’d like to see before I look in the mirror.

Ali Drucker (@ali_drucker) is the author of the forthcoming “Do As I Say, Not Who I Did: All the Sex Advice No One Tells You Before You Go to College.”

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