How Nairobi slay queens pursue sponsors to finance luxurious lifestyles

SOCIALITE INFLUENCE

“If I look hot, I look good. There has got to be some rich guy who will pay good money to possess me,” says Jane, 20.

Jane, an undergraduate who readily admits to having two sponsors, sees nothing shameful in such relationships — they are just part of the everyday hustle it takes to survive in Nairobi, she says.

She is inspired by Kenya’s celebrity “socialites”, women who have transformed s3x appeal into wealth, becoming stars of social media.

In the past, some of Kenya’s socialites have styled themselves as #SlayQueens and have been quite upfront about the financial benefits that have come from dating tycoons.

Having made it to the top, though, they often begin to cultivate a different image, presenting themselves as independent, self-made businesswomen and encouraging girls to work hard and stay in school.

Jane, however, says she admires socialite Vera Sidika, who went from dancing in music videos on to the set of the Nairobi Diaries, and from there launched a business career based on her fame and physique.

FINANCIAL GAIN

“I used the remaining Sh100 I had in my  wallet and took a bus to the city centre, to look for the first man who would pay to have sex with me,” Machakos University student Mary Wambui*, 19, confesses.

Most of the times she sat in her tiny room in shared quarters in Kitengela, feeling broke, hungry and desperate.

But that day, Wambui went back to Kitengela with Sh1,000 to feed herself for the rest of the month.

She says she loved that life and instead of sleeping with random guys for money, she opted for a sponsor.

“Six years ago, I met a married man nearly 40 years my senior. At first, I received just groceries. Then it was trips to the salon,” she says.

“Two years into our relationship, the man moved me into a new apartment because he wanted me to be more comfortable.”

Another two years down the line, the sponsor gave her a plot of land in Nyeri county as a show of commitment.

In exchange, he gets to sleep with Wambui whenever he feels like it.

“I am young and beautiful, so why not use my youthfulness to my benefit.”

“After all, what is wrong about sex, anyway?” asks Wambui . “People just make it sound wrong. But sometimes, it ain’t wrong at all.”

But as most of those dependent on sugar relationships are female, they have dominated the public debate. There are concerns about the morality of their lifestyle, but also about its consequences for their health.

Kerubo*, 27, from Kisii, says she has control of her relationship with her sugar daddy, Alfred. But when I ask her about safe sex, this illusion quickly evaporates.

Both Alfred and her other sponsor, James, prefer not to use condoms, she says. In fact, she has had unprotected sex with multiple sugar daddies, who then have sex with other women, as well as with their wives, exposing all of these partners to the risk of sexually transmitted diseases.

Kerubo, the aspiring singer struggling to put food on the table, has a slightly different perspective. To her, the similarities with sex work are more apparent.

“I prefer the sponsor thing, rather than standing on the street,” she says. “Because you have that one person who is supporting you… you don’t need to sleep with so many men.”

The names have been changed for protection purposes.