The Spiritually Therapeutic Effect of Forgiveness

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By George Kimando

(DISCLAIMER: I forget who sent me this a while ago, so i do not own the initial copyright to the article, though largely edited and rewritten to fit this column. But i found it so profound to not share with you).

IN LIFE, we all meet that one person or a group of people who comes into your life, and leaves you seething in broken smithereens. This is a person we trusted, but who turned our lives upside down, and for the worse.

It could be a broken relationship (engagement, marriage, etc), business deal, betrayed trust (by a parent, guardian, religious minister, relative, friend, political ally), etc.

This person leaves you with so much anger, pain, bitterness and all you want is revenge. You want them to feel your pain, to feel the damage they have done to you; you want to disrupt and dismantle their life just like they did yours.

The truth is, you either never get the opportunity to revenge, or nothing you will ever do will match the damage they did to your life. So you are left with the anger, the bitterness, the pain and it tortures you, especially when you see that person being happy.

The only way to get over it is to forgive, let go and let God. Difficult, right?

So why do you need to forgive?

1) FORGIVENESS HELPS YOU HEAL

The one fundamental reason why we find forgiveness so difficult is the feeling that we let the ‘sinner’ get away with it; like they won and we lost. But do you know that the more you hold on to that pain, the more damage you do to yourself from the inside? That anger does a lot more damage to you, than to the one you are angry with. When you focus on your anger, you will not notice, or even appreciate, the many good things happening in your life.

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. [Ephesians 4:31-32]

2) FORGIVENESS HELPS YOU UNDERSTAND HUMAN NATURE

When you get to that point of forgiving someone, you are essentially saying, “I have accepted that it is in your nature to disrupt other people’s lives, and you do not comprehend how much damage you have done to me. But because of YOU, I now know there are others out there like YOU, and this experience has taught me to guard myself from people like YOU in future!”

True, there are heartless and selfish people, those who do not care whom they hurt. BUT there are MANY MORE loving and caring people out there. This experience teaches you how to separate those who care from those who don’t.

Then Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do” [LUKE 23:34]

3) FORGIVENESS BUILDS YOUR CHARACTER

The process through which one gets to forgive someone who has hurt them so bad is not simple. It may take days, months, or even years. This is one of the greatest spiritual and personal battles we have to fight in life. There will be times when you will see the need to forgive, and there will be times when all you want to is to revenge. This constant back and forth helps you build your character as you discover strengths you never thought you had. The day you forgive and let go, is the day you become stronger for the challenges ahead.

Mahatma Gandhi once said, “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”

Forgiveness is not easy, but it is the one thing that helps us more, than those we forgive.

Have a truly forgiving Sunday, and a great week ahead.

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