Loneliness is no joke; we should tackle it together

You are not alone in being lonely. Loneliness affects us at one time or another. Regrettably, there is no single known cause for it nor a solution. After all, we are different; some people are at a higher risk of being lonely than others.

Loneliness is the difference between one’s actual level of social connection and the desired one. It is subjective and can only truly be defined by the person who feels it. You can actually be lonely and not alone—for example, if you have a lot of social activities but they are with people you do not really connect with or whom you feel do not understand you.

If loneliness goes unchecked for too long, it becomes ingrained in our daily experience, increasing the risk of mental illness. Loneliness can be both the driver and product of mental ill-health. Top causes of loneliness include increased mobility; every time we move, we leave behind communities and personal face-to-face connections. Feeling misunderstood or invisible, or lack of belonging, may also make you feel you are not welcome, leading to being lonely. So can grieving an unhealed trauma from losing a loved one, divorce or abuse. Struggling with mental illness such as anxiety, depression and others creates even more challenges for creating and sustaining positive relationships.

May is Mental Health Awareness Month. Loneliness is the theme for this year’s celebrations. Loneliness is a significant public health issue and one of the key indicators of poor mental health. Dealing with loneliness can be difficult. Solving this issue is crucial for our mental fitness, health and general well-being. What can I do to help end the problem?

First, connect to yourself. Have a conversation with the person in the mirror. Self-acceptance, self-esteem and self-compassion can help you to feel confident about yourself. This can make you more open to connecting with others. Accept yourself, love who you are and feel comfortable in your own skin and also practise self-care. If you feel disconnected and isolated, do not beat yourself up.

Check in on your people. What have they been doing? What has been on their mind lately? Get in touch with a friend or neighbour that you have not spoken with in a while. Raise awareness on the link between mental health and loneliness.

Be part of a welcoming environment. It is important to feel a sense of belonging and inclusion with your peers and feel valued. Whether it is messaging each other, cracking jokes or solving a pressing issue together, feel like you do share a sense of purpose. Build meaningful connections with your friends, family, colleagues and communities.

Lastly, if you are having a hard time managing loneliness, seek support and interventions that can help you to overcome it. Red flags to watch out for include suicidal thoughts, difficulty sleeping, lack of well-being or feeling anxious. There is nothing wrong with getting help; your life depends on it.

Do not carry loneliness by yourself. You are not alone. We can only make progress together.