Stop intimate partner violence, a new growing concern in Kenya

There is a worrying trend of increased murders committed by intimate partners in the country. The media is awash with stories of girlfriends who fatally stabbed their boyfriends, husbands who set their wives and children on fire, boyfriends who hacked their girlfriends to death and many other such incidences.

It is, indeed, an issue that should be urgently addressed.

The World Health Organisation defines intimate partner violence (IPV) as any behaviour within an intimate relationship that causes physical, psychological or sexual harm to those in the relationship.

While in some instances men have been victims of IPV, the overwhelming global burden of the violence is borne by women.

The most common perpetrators of violence against women are their current or former male intimate partners.

By contrast, men are far more likely to experience violent acts by strangers or acquaintances than by someone close to them.

On July 19, last year, while handing down the death sentence to Ruth Wanjiku Kamande, whom the court had found guilty of murdering her boyfriend, Justice Jessie Lesiit cautioned young people in relationships.

She warned: “I think to pass any other sentence than the one prescribed (death sentence) would turn the accused to a hero. I want young people to know that it is not ‘cool’ to kill your boy- or girlfriend.

“Even where you feel disappointed or frustrated, don’t do it. Instead, it is ‘cool’ to walk away and thereafter forgive.”

In this case, the accused had stabbed her boyfriend 25 times.

It is unfortunate that many young people are finding it so easy to take away lives in the name of broken promises in relationships.

Our law is clear that every person has the right to life and, equally, most religions term it a sin to kill. Neither the law nor religion gives heartbreak as justification to take a life.

It is even more tragic that once a senseless killing occurs, Kenyans storm the social media with all manner of theories as most of them seek to justify the act. It’s important for the young and old alike to remember that there are no guarantees in life.

There will be disappointments and there will be heartbreaks.

Love is not a democracy. Some will invest time, money and emotions but a relationship may fail for one reason or the other.

Remember, we do not own anyone; the feeling of entitlement and possession over an intimate partner can only lead to disaster.

A broken heart is no defence for taking a life. It is a crime to even attempt to take away our own life; why, then, would one think it is right to kill someone because they bought them chips, a phone, lost our virginity to them or invested time in them?

Let us encourage and help one another to be emotionally mature enough to accept rejection and heartbreak as this is, indeed, part and parcel of dating. Let religious institutions offer support and teach that relationships, and even marriages, fail.

But instead of contemplating suicide, it’s ‘cool’ to just walk away and out of it.