Sex is a big part of every relationship. Of course, it’s not the only thing that will keep the spark alive but admittedly, it’s very important to have a healthy sex life as a couple.
When it comes to addressing issues like dissatisfaction, that right there is a massive pink elephant in the room.
If you’re not happy with the way things are going, you need to handle the situation a certain way since the wrong move could be the beginning of the end for your romance.
At the same time, pretending like you’re not bothered about the problems you’re having isn’t a solution either.
A tough choice indeed, the truth is you must find one way or another to let your partner know that he is not meeting your bedroom expectations.
If you happen to find yourself in this situation here is how you can go about it the wise way:
Hearing from your partner that the sex isn’t great is a big confidence killer. The reason why this stings is because your partner is probably thinking he has been rocking your world only for you to crush his world and tell him that they kind of suck which is super embarrassing.
For you, it’s probably better to think of what you will tell them beforehand so that you can avoid sending the wrong message. Give yourself time to plan so that when you’re having that conversation, you know what to say.
Do not treat your partner with contempt because they don’t get you there (Photo: Courtesy)
Begin the conversation with something you appreciate about them. Let them know that you love them or remind them of some of the things they do in bed that you like.
Starting with the good news will at least keep them encouraged and more willing to make adjustments once they hear the bad news. This is better because when all they hear is negatives, it will trigger some defensiveness.
You have every right to communicate how you’re feeling to your partner. In fact, healthy couples show their love by expressing their points of view on different topics including sensitive ones like money and sex.
Communication is very important but how you communicate is also something to consider.
You don’t have to harshly tell them that they are horrible in bed or that you hate the sex because that could deeply destroy their self-esteem.
Always be kind to them especially when you’re having a conversation on sensitive topics.
Even though honesty is the best policy do it with kindness and not disgust (Photo: Courtesy)
Beating around the bush and avoiding the truth won’t give you the positive results you’re looking for. You should be kind and talk to them in a loving way but you shouldn’t go overboard to a point where the conversation stops feeling genuine.
Deep down when they hear your concerns, they will want to do better and satisfy you more. That is why you still need to handle this with honesty instead of hesitating.
Give them a chance to talk
Allow them to also give their perspective once you have said what you need to. You may be surprised to find out that you’re also slacking on your sex game and some work needs to be done.
Don’t take it the hard way and create a safe space where you can both express your needs and feelings surrounding sex.
This way, everyone’s needs will be met and your relationship will stand a better chance at surviving and thrive.