Parents in the slum must stop pushing their daughters into commercial sex and blaming it on poverty » Capital News

By Liz Mbula 

No matter what challenges one faces, pushing your child into crime and other life-threatening activities like prostitution should not and cannot be the solution.

This is common in the informal settlements and slums in Nairobi and other parts of the country where some young girls say they were pushed into commercial sex by their parents to bring home something.

For boys, some are encouraged to venture into crime when parents fail to ask them the source of their money when they notice that their lives are changing with new mobile phones, clothes, shoes among others.

And for girls, some parents have been reported to introduce them to older partners, or simply send them to dingy bars in the slum where crime and sex is the order of the day.

I was particularly touched by the story of a 19-year-old. We will refer to her as Caroline*, not her real name, when she narrated how she was introduced into prostitution at the age of 15 by a woman in her 40’s in Kibera after dropping out of school for lack of fees.

“My mother knew this very well but she had no problem with it. In fact she encouraged me because she used to ask me for money and whenever I did not leave home she could ask how comes I have not gone anywhere,” Caroline told me.

Today, Caroline is 19 and well into prostitution which she finds hard to quit for lack of an alternative. “This is what feeds me and my daughter,” she told me, “Even my mother depends on me and she knows very well that this is the job I do.”

When I asked her if she is aware of the dangers associated with the trade, she said, “Yes I know, but I have no choice.”

Caroline tells me she has an elder brother in his 30’s and both did not complete High School.

“Ni mgondi (thief) and that is also a crime, so if you ask me to stop what I am doing, he should also be asked to stop,” she said.

The tragedy in Caroline and her brother’s example is that their mother knows too well that her two children are involved in such activities and she is ok with it because they are feeding her.

Such is the tragedy in the slums and other informal settlements in what is worsened by lack of employment in the country and peer pressure. The COVID-19 pandemic has made the situation even worse.

Like in the case of Caroline, she said that she at first started it to get money to buy pads and realised prostitution can generate money for her and her mother, but is it worth it with the dangers of Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) associated with it.

Judy Kaberia, a Gender Trainer at Journalists for Human Rights (JHR) who is set to take up a new position as Executive Director at the Association of Media Women in Kenya (AMWIK) says “Prostitution is an easier choice and an easy shortcut but in the long run it is more lethal and hurting yo the lives of the girls and their mothers because the cycle will continue since prostitution leaves them more exposed to diseases, physical and emotional torture which again lands them in worse off poverty.”

In the case of Caroline, what will stop her from encouraging her own daughter to also venture into prostitution when she grows up?

That is why we need more intervention from  the government, Community-Based Organisations, community leaders and other actors to intensify civic education programmes in these slums so as to educate the young girls and boys on the dangers of crime and prostitution.

We should not only encourage them to complete school but support them to ensure they have paid fees and met other necessities in life so as not to fall into temptations.

Parents too must be targeted in these programmes on why they should support their children and watch over them against engaging in crime, prostitution and using drugs.

These are things that have been normalised in the informal settlements.

By normalising such behaviours, it becomes difficult for parents to raise complaints whenever their daughters are sexually assaulted by people known or unknown to them.

It is not right, it must be stopped. We will lose a generation.

The author comments on Gender and Human Rights issues.