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Matatu Chronicles: Hilarious Fashion Phrases by PSVs Drivers, Makanga

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4 years ago

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By Jay Kioko

Matatu touts and drivers are the most creative people I have come across. Despite their smell of a rotten dog (of course, not all of them), they have lines that will fracture your ribs. Why they don’t shower is a thing I can’t explain. But even without taking a bath for weeks, they are known to attract a sizable number of good looking lasses…

Here are some of their funny responses to passengers…

1. An elderly woman complains about the music “Wekeni nyimbo za Yesu”
Conductor: Mathee, Yesu bado hajatoa album
2. Passenger: Kuna kiti?Conductor: Hao wengine wamekalia ndoo?

3. Passenger: Kuna kiti ama ni zile uongo zenu?
Conductor: Hehe kama ulikua unaogopa kukosa kiti si ungebeba yako.
4.Passenger: Bwana hii gari ina joto sana!
Conductor: Basi shuka upande fridge.
5.Conductor: Madam,kuna seats pale nyuma.
Passenger: Siwezi kaa seats za nyuma. Nataka ya mbele.
Conductor: Kwani za nyuma ziko nje ya gari? Basi wacha dereva ashuke ukae mbele.
6.Passenger: Tao ngapi?
Conductor: Mbao
Passenger: Niko na kumi
Conductor: Iyo nunua avocado ujipake uteleze mpaka tao.
7.Girl: Dereva ongeza volume tuskie Mwalimu King’ang’i
Connductor: Ungeskiza Mwalimu wa shule ungekua na gari yako si kutusumbua hapa na King’ang’i ..

8. Me: Tao Ningapi
Conta: Tao ni moja

The post Matatu Chronicles: Hilarious Fashion Phrases by PSVs Drivers, Makanga appeared first on LitKenya.

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