Trevor Noah: Marjorie Taylor Greene Has a Lot to Learn

“Also, because herd immunity is commonly considered to be achieved at somewhere between 70 and 80 percent, so New York State will lift virtually all Covid restrictions, including remaining capacity limits, social distancing and cleaning and disinfecting mandates — which means that Pizza Rat can finally dine inside again.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“And as a New Yorker, I’m furious about the tables no longer being six feet apart. In New York, restaurants put tables so close together that you’re basically eating together. If you’re next to a couple breaking up, oh now you’re part of the breakup. When dinner’s over, now you gotta go help him get his stuff out of her apartment.” — TREVOR NOAH

“So if we’re all going to pack into places again, let’s at least keep those plexiglass partitions, please! They keep you separated from other people, and it lets you pretend that you’re a hockey player sitting in a penalty box, you know? Makes me feel cool. I’m not just eating a hamburger, I’m serving two minutes for cross-checking.” — TREVOR NOAH

“The good news is the partitions will be gone; the bad news is, they’re going back to where they came from: the urinals.” — JIMMY FALLON