Smartphone monster slowly killing the art of conversation

We are all socialised differently. This is because we are raised in different backgrounds. Our beliefs and norms are also different based on the exposure we get as a result of socio-economic factors and those who mentor us.

For the past few weeks, I have been wondering why many people are suffering from mental health, depression and loneliness.

I scanned the environment and concluded that our social fabric has been infiltrated by another monster called the cell phone, more so the smartphone.

We can’t function without our smartphones. Assume you forgot your phone at home and you already boarded a matatu to work. That day will be ruined because the “love of your life” — the smartphone — is not with you. You will stay at work wondering if something went wrong even if you had the opportunity to log into your social media apps or e-mails at work.

I do not abhor the evolution of technology, but are we now becoming slaves to our mobile phones. Is human socialisation dead? Are human beings still having real conversations? I doubt it. You cannot have a straight 60 seconds conversation with a fellow human being before they pick their phones and check what is going on social media or a chat app.

In a family set-up, children no longer have conversations among themselves. They have more conversations with their “friends” online.

If they must have a conversation it is not about themselves but about other peoples’ lives posted on social media.

This is mostly driven by what celebrities and “influencers” say or do with themselves. Did you know that a majority of the things people post on social media are fake and they are just fulfilling their “wishes”?

On the other hand, today’s parents are always on their phones. Father is on his phone looking at the latest issues on football or politics or “boys” WhatsApp group as mother is busy is on “girls” WhatsApp group or a social media platform. And you wonder why your children have become victims of cyberpredators. No one cares to listen to them at home or know what is happening around their world.

As a result of their busy schedules and the “hustler” life, parents are fulfilling just one of their roles — providing. The rest of the parenting roles have been abdicated to teachers and house-helps.

During dinner, most families today do not sit at the dinner table to have a meal and discuss how their day was. Instead, they would take their food while still glued to their phones.

When did you last enjoy your meal to the fullest without having your smartphone around you? When did you have a proper discussion at the dinner table about issues affecting you, your children, girlfriend or boyfriend, husband or wife?

In addition, when you go into a club with friends, a majority will not have a five-minute conversation without removing their phones to engage with other friends on Facebook or WhatsApp.

Our socialisation is lost. I miss the days of my grandfather when we could just sit around a fire, and he would tell us stories and educate us about life and how to become better human beings.

Our lives today are pegged on what people say about us on social media. Fake affirmations have become the norm because we spend most of our time on these platforms. Even though something as to give so that technology can become successful, we need to guard our humanness.

In a recent article written by Safaricom CEO Bob Collymore and published by one of the dailies, he notes that: “Think about it: When was the last time you really had a conversation with somebody, without looking at your phone? When did you last switch off voluntarily, and not because your phone ‘died’? Our devices are replacing real human connection, and it’s time to reclaim what we’ve lost: conversation.”

At the same time, Bill Gates imposed strict rules on the use of mobile phones and other technologies by his children. His children did not use mobile phones until they were 14.

In an article published by the Mirror in April last year, Gates is quoted saying: “We don’t have cell phones at the table when we are having a meal, we didn’t give our kids cell phones until they were 14 and they complained other kids got them earlier.”

In conclusion, let us just be human and listen to each other’s stories even if they don’t make sense. There is always something beautiful that comes about when we have a face-to-face conversation. Nothing invented on the surface of the earth will ever replace our humanness or human touch.

Mr Owiti is the managing Director and Founder of Alexander PR and Communication Network; [email protected]