We, the adults of this country, are failing our children terribly

A lot has been said about the teenage pregnancy scourge that we keep hearing about in the news. Instead of being alarmed about what is happening to our children, we are blaming each other. The parents and teachers are at it with each other while some government officials are blaming pornography, music and drugs. The fact that our teenagers are having sex among themselves and with older men seems to have caught us flat-footed. We do not know where to start that discussion.

The truth is that we are all to blame. Children are a society’s collective responsibility and the fact that thousands of them are expecting other children is a pointer to our failure.

The first failure is the shyness we as adults have in discussing sex with our children. Parents skit around it, with mothers only warning teenage daughters not to cause them aibu (shame) by getting pregnant; how that pregnancy is to come, no one tells them. Teachers teach reproductive parts but leave it at that. And the church has been the strongest advocate against sex education in schools.

Meanwhile, teenagers are having sex. In fact the number we have is only of those who got caught, meaning that millions of them are having sex. We can no longer hide behind our moral compass and only teach abstinence while our children discover their bodies on their own. It is time we got over our shyness and took charge of our children’s sex education. Safe sex is way better than what they are practising now anyway.

And closely tied to our refusal to talk about sex is the way families hide rapists in their midst. As the Machakos official giving the report said, a large number of those teenage pregnancies are from the teenagers’ own fathers and uncles.

All these cases are going unreported as families force the girls into silence to avoid embarrassment. But the fact that we have over 152,000 men and boys responsible for putting our children in maternity in a matter of three months is embarrassing and disheartening. If the current laws do not deter these men going after young girls enough, we should consider stiffer penalties for them such as castration.

And while thinking of how to ensure this is the last year those figures shall be in the thousands, it is high time we included children in our schedules and plans, both as the government and as communities. Where are the social halls in the villages where children can express their creative sides? Where are the football tournaments for young ones?

And how about radio and TV programmes by teenagers, for teenagers? Children are not like weeds that grow up without any intentional care by the farmer. They need guidance and mentoring from parents and the community at large. We cannot leave this to the church, schools or the curriculum; we all need to work in harmony to ensure no girl gets to 18 with another child strapped to her back. That will not only ensure they have a better life, but also help us achieve societal progress.

As things stand, we the adults of this country are failing our children terribly. We should do better.

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